Poem 81

The sun warms my aching mind
Torn up over the life that has passed me by
A year of wonder, a year of pain
A year of not knowing if I’ll be the same
As once I was, just 12 months ago
As once I was when you made me whole.

The sun warms my healing heart
Reminding me that all things scar
They make us stronger, they make us stand tall
They show us that we recover when we fall
Down upon the worst of luck but, with love
I will always make it up.


Poem 80

Remember me
When you look in your mind
Remember me
And then you will find
Glimpses of the person
You knew that I was
Shimmers of the person
No longer with us.
But, look closer
And then you will see
She’s there in the shadows
Hiding from me.
Biding her time
Until she’s ready to be
That brave, stronger person
That brave, stronger me.

Poem 65

That’s what I am.
One foot in front of the other
Leading me to an escape.

My feet are working
My body healing by escaping
Walking in the air and being,

One step
Two step
The steps now all come.
Broken for so long but free to move now.

Life shines happy when the air hits my face.
Time to escape and live

Poem 51

The water laps upon the mystical shore
Swallowing the sand and rocks like prey
Beating the shells into submission before
The tide steals them far away.

I hear the crashing of the water from afar
Breaking the shore with restless wonder
The salty air cleansing my troublesome soul
Purging good and wickedness asunder.
Gentle sounds
Soothing the goodness and restoring
The failed body, internally scarred,

Forever in mourning?

Poem 47

Melancholy illuminated by candlelight
The flickering flame resonating with the unsteady mind
It dances, pirouetting like ill-shaped thoughts
Ultimately steady if not provoked.

The scent fragrances the air and
Cleanses the oversensed mind
A focus, capturing the vision from its lonely source.

Frenetic and unkempt though the mind can be
Calmed, now it is, with the lights serenity
A distraction from hellish thoughts of hurt
Entropy –

there must be balance in this heart.

Poem 39

My heart has learned to dream again

In daytime and in night

The flighty forces floating through

No longer filled with fright.

The desire for happiness is building up

That gentle release of calm

It lightens me and makes me see

I am still who I am.

Enlightened sleep filled with everlasting hope

Of smiles and laughter, being free

The clocks have turned, the cogs don’t yearn

To escape. There’s once again glee.

Poem 38

Last night I dreamt such a vivid dream

When all month there have been none

I dreamt of a child as yet unconceived

A beautiful and glorious son.

Complete joy escaped from my body

As I lay on the bed with him

I embraced him close and felt the way

I’ll always feel with you.

My gift from hope, presented to me

In a smiling, doting child

A reward for recovering from all pain

And accepting all denial.

To heal is to help a damaged soul

Only then can that peace be found

Mortals, we are all fighting to keep

Courageous love close and bound.

I speak to this child and tell him tales

Of a sibling he will never meet

But there’s hope in my heart that his precious heart

Will recover me and make me complete.

Poem 21

“Mummy” you called, then realised
Your sad mistake in regretful eyes.
He checked to see for panicked response
Instead encountering nonchalance.

“Daddy” you called and I smiled
Though sadness I saw in weary eyes
Longing like I had not too long ago
Wishing, though not wanting to reveal it so.

A single call, mistaken body
Unwilling response to an innocent child
The future still holding the chance to know
That call, in its truth, for us.